Real Wedding: Mae & Mostafa

Mediterranean inspired wedding

Planning a wedding is a complex and gradual process that not only involves the work of experts, but also the full immersion of the bride to it. Below you will find an insightful interview with the bride Mae, who gives her valuable tips on planning a wedding in 5 months and talks about the complexities of organizing an event and ways of dealing with stress and challenges. Enjoy the beautiful photos taken by our talented member, Katie Gracen.

Tell us a little about yourselves. How did you meet? What do you do for a living? What are your hobbies?

Our story started way before we were even born when our parents met in the United States in a very small town in Florida and became good friends. We spent what felt like a faint memory of our childhood together until his parents decided to move overseas for over a decade. In that time frame I finished highschool and was about to start college. He moved back to the States to continue his college journey. We ended up in the same University and in the same major as well. I saw a familiar face and from there we rekindled a long time childhood friendship.

Did you have any pre-wedding events, like a rehearsal dinner or bridal shower?

I did have pre-wedding events! I had my engagement party which was more like a dinner and I had a bridal shower! I planned and designed both events myself. I am someone who loves hosting. Hosting friends or any party is totally my thing. So I had a blast planning those smaller sized events more than my wedding. For my engagement party I wanted my guests to feel like they’re sitting under stars so I had a huge 50 foot twinkle light tunnel set up in my family’s pool patio. It was so romantic and beautiful. My bridal shower was just as much fun planning for me. I definitely felt that my pre wedding events were much less stressful and I was able to get really creative.

Where was your wedding? Why did you choose this venue?

My wedding venue location was so beautiful. Very Mediterranean inspired which is what ultimately drew me in. HOWEVER, I need to preface what I’m about to say with a fair warning. When choosing a venue, please read the fine print of contracts. Negotiate! Don’t be afraid to do that. You have to think about every possibility that could occur during the wedding, the good and the bad. Look for a venue that has good security system set in place for you and your guests safety. So do not be afraid to shop around for the absolute perfect venue because it’s not just the aesthetic that’s important at the end of the day.

What was the concept behind your wedding and how did you find your inspiration?

My inspiration for the design was deeply rooted from both of our cultural backgrounds. The idea was to refine the traditional concepts of middle eastern weddings, but in our own way. Each detail was closely curated to fit our own mediterranean aesthetic. For example, I wanted real fruit to be used as centerpieces on the tables. I opted for grapes which signify an important piece of Palestinian history and culture. My guests even ate from the grapes as a snack on the table! Another idea was to add natural stone pieces as decor. Natural stone is all over parts of the Middle East and are still used to build homes to this day. I also made sure to use quality linens which was a game changer. These small details eventually came together and became cohesive in a very unique way.

How long did it take to plan your wedding? Did you encounter any challenges during the planning process?

I planned my wedding in 5 months. I decided to plan it myself which was a big task to do. However, I knew I was up for the challenge. I like to believe I have a knack for event planning and designing but my wedding was like nothing I have ever done before so it definitely did stress me out. I will say I do not recommend anyone to plan their wedding in that short of a time frame unless they know exactly what they are wanting. It takes a lot of time, money, editing, refining, finalizing each and every detail. I think it helped for me to have had ideas saved since 2018! I have a saved album on Instagram called future wedding, I noticed a trend in my saved posts and that’s what ultimately helped me filter out what I like and don’t like. When choosing my design for the wedding I thought I wanted something colorful. It was only after I began designing my wedding dress that I realized I wanted something more timeless. I thought I was too late to make any changes but I had great vendors that were super flexible and helpful in navigating my ideas in the right direction.

How many guests did you have? And what was the seating arrangement at the wedding like?

I had around 140 guests! The seating arrangement was special to us as we are both very family oriented. We wanted to give both sides of our families special seating so we placed them on long tables around the dance floor. Basically framing the seating with family first.

Tell us about your outfits. How many different styles have you tried?

Oh I tried a lot of styles! I always had a feeling that I needed a custom made dress because I am extremely particular about which silhouettes flatter my body. I also knew exactly which silhouette matches my body type but I still tried all types of gowns and I’m happy I did. After trying so many, I knew I needed something A-line and modest which was very challenging to find in the US. I ended up going to the Middle East to customize my wedding dress from scratch! That was another adventure to tackle but looking back I’m so happy I did that. A lot of the heavy work was in my bodice. My entire bodice was hand beaded and each piece of the pattern was slightly different. Of course no one can see that asymmetry but that’s what made me love it even more.

What was your first dance song? Did you choreograph or improvise?

My first dance was by an artist named Siilawy. The song is called 'Ashani'. Which means “For Me” in Arabic. We did not choreograph anything which was so funny to watch back later on. I remember telling my sister how hard can it be to slow dance. Well, it was hard lol. Especially being center of attention you forget how to dance.

Did you have any special performances or entertainment?

Yes! We had a special grand entrance that is used in a lot of Middle Eastern weddings called a Zaffeh or Zaffa! This is where the bride and groom enter with a band that carries percussion instruments such as different types of drums, bagpipes, and swords. Each country has its own traditions that vary from country to country on how they do the zaffeh! However, this tradition dates back to hundreds of years ago and is essential to any middle eastern wedding. It’s very loud and very upbeat anyone who hears it will want to break out in a dance.

What was the most memorable moment from your wedding day?

The most memorable moment from my wedding was when I finally put my dress on. I saw the look on everyone’s face and while rushing to get out the door I took that moment in just a little longer.

Are there any vendors that you would like to tell us a little more about?

I had the pleasure of working with such special vendors. My photographer, Katie Gracen was honestly so amazing and thoughtful every step of the way. She’s a true talent that I wish I can keep secret. Her attention to me during my wedding while still carrying out her job so effortlessly at my wedding amazes me until this day. She noticed when I got too hot or my dress needed fixing. Loved every second with her.

My florist, Rochelle Kontz or Gather & Grace Designs, was also a special vendor for me. She was one of the first vendors I booked when planning my wedding. She brought my vision to life and we bounced off each others ideas so well. She was so graceful to me throughout the process and gave me valuable advice if and when I needed it especially when my ideas sounded funny to some. Such a gem!

When you choose vendors find those that you connect with on a human and professional level. I believe I had that with a lot of my vendors <3

Did you have any special or unique elements (such as a signature cocktail or a fragrance) at your wedding?

Yes! I wanted my wedding day fragrance to trigger a memory in my brain. So I looked for notes that had Arabian perfumery all over it. I was shopping in Neiman when I stopped at the Parfums De Marly stand. The sales associate began to show me their most popular scent that a lot of brides choose for their wedding day scent but it didn’t do much for me. I reached over to another bottle and after that first spray I just couldn’t stop saying “WOW”. I knew I had to get it. The name is Safanad, it is the most perfect warm velvety fragrance I have ever smelled. The story behind Parfums De Marly is very interesting as well. Now every time I smell that perfume I’m immediately sent back to my wedding.

What advice would you give to couples who are currently planning their wedding?

I honestly have a lot of advice to give. I can start with take your time. I think taking a year to plan your wedding is pretty reasonable. I also would like to say to not be afraid to be unique in your design choices but be authentic to yourself. The biggest compliment I received at my wedding was that my guests noticed all my little touches throughout the space. That was so nice to hear because I spilled so much energy into curating everything as best as I can. Another piece of advice I like to give is to negotiate and ask around. Ask family, friends, social media, read reviews, etc. I think a lot of couples are afraid of this industry and afraid to ask questions. It was a big learning curve for me.

What helped you cope with the anxiety before the wedding?

Honestly I had the most amazing people around me the morning of my wedding and getting ready. My husband also helped a lot. His energy helped me handle all the stress and anxiety that I was experiencing. Lastly, it’s all a mindset. I told myself that the minute I put my dress on I have to let everything go. Whatever goes wrong during the day I have to move on. My mom always says this saying in Arabic which literally translates to “put your heart in cold water” so that’s exactly what I did.